Bright Lights

It only took working late, focusing completely on the tasks at hand, and coming in on my day off, but it was done. All of my numbers for the last week, met. System status: brain- fried; body- tired; eyes- dry; back- sore; diet… yeah, what diet. When working extra time, staying up late attempting to pass the dreaded Algebra Class, coming in on days off, things like that, unfortunately the whole concept of ‘cooking’ dies. Well, that is until I figure out how to actually get everything done in 40 hours. Its going to take some scientific analysis… and probably pissing off a few people, but unfortunately numero uno has to come first some times. I keep pleading for some help getting everyone up to speed.

What does one do when personal ethics conflict with life? What does one do with someone who can’t seem to grasp simple tasks? That, is something for this soul to figure out.

Unfortunately at ‘the Mill’, I’m in a conundrum. I have no prior experience in this role, and only two volunteer positions that had me leading others. In one, as Business Manager of the college newspaper, I was a ‘hard ass’… for sending a “You need to pay us, now” letter to an advertiser that hadn’t paid in over 4 weeks. My job was to make sure the books were kept, if someone didn’t want that, they should have hired a slacker (funny though, as bad as I am with math, I’m always able to do basic accounting really well. Go figure, huh?).

The other one, well, what can I say about being a Red Cross Disaster Relief Volunteer and Assistant Team Lead. The rank I got to very quickly with the ARC, I was able to coach and train new volunteers. Try convincing someone that they need to strap on their boots, put on their hard hat, and walk into the shell of a home that smells of burning and nastyness, with this liquid that stains everything and is impossible to remove from fabric, and do inventory. Then tell them they have to do that with the paper getting dripped on, but it has to be legible.

Or, try taking a family that just lost everything and would rather cry on the side of the road, that by sitting here and filling out forms, they’re rebuilding. Hardest thing to do – take someone who lost an animal in a fire and fill out paperwork, in the 120 degree Phoenix summer sun.

The point I’m trying to make is people often look at someone’s resume as a complete sum of their abilities and character. In reality, it’s only a partial snapshot through a vaseline coated lense. Yeah, I don’t have experience taking someone and getting them to perform menial task A, B, and C. But, I have experience getting a volunteer to perform menial task A, B, and C in conditions that most people who work IT Support have never even had to come close to. When is the last time a IT Service Rep on a phone had to hope to god the building around them didn’t collapse, or escape gunfire. When is the last time a manager had to trackdown equipment to keep people not getting paid anything from getting ran over in the middle of the night? As a Disaster Volunteer, we had to deal with crazy people wanting to stab volunteers. The only way it didn’t happen is the guy decided that although the petite 50 year old woman infront of him might be an easy fight, the 387 pount guy in boots and a hard hat and the ex-marine with a bad leg might actually be a challenge.

No prior experience. Okay. Sure.

I don’t know how many people out there read this, if any, but I’m asking anyone in any management capacity to remember: that sheet in front of you is not the whole story. You may just let the best employee of your career pass you by if you look for only the ones with a lot of experience. I’ve met some people with no expereince that are flatout not right for the position, but, by the same token I’ve met people with years of experience that are flatout not right for the position. Just as I’ve met people with their Doctorial or Masters degrees that couldn’t escape from a paper bag.

Experience in the raw is useless.

Experience turned into wisdom is useful.

But, inexperience brings new wisdom, new ideas, and, new zest.

Don’t write off the inexperienced before you get the whole story.

Now, into personal news…

I’m going to visit Cosanti tomorrow with S, and I’m sure we’ll have a good time. I haven’t really had a decent time outside of the house in a long time. Lord knows it is needed right about now. Good thing I just went to the Arcosanti website, it looks like in March, on a Saturday, they have a performance called Theoretical Isolation: A Post-Atomic Experiment, which sounds really, really cool! I might try to go and see that. I have yet to go to Arcosanti, and they always have some very cool events up there.

Well, I need to get to bed. Until next time.

• At work getting ready to go. #

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So now I’m feeling a bit better, not so absolutly pissed off. Just having to deal with some of the more annoying parts of work have really gotten to me, hit me deep into my core. I do what I can to not get fired. I just need to not let things get to me, thats all. Easier said than done, right?

I don’t know what I’m doing anymore it seems like sometimes. Nothing makes sense. I should really stop trying to analyize and figure out things, but, I can’t. Thats me. Thats my nature.

So, I just need to sit back for a while, relax, and let the world do whatever the heck it wants. Thats what I always do, and that has served me well so far.

I went to Target today to pick up some new headphones for work (earbuds are killing me), but I also decided I needed a new multitool and flashlight. So, now I got those two items hanging off my belt. If I wasn’t neardy before, I am now.

Oh well, such is life.

• Well I’m feeling great now. I’m at work having lunch (yeah, I know at midnight). Was able to get my homework done on time thanks to new PC. #

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Yeah, so I do. I’m blogging at work (not on a company asset though, I’m on lunch on my own gizmo!). It feels like the end of the world, you know. Debt, debt, debt. Its on the news night and day. Its all over the place. The whole world is going to shit fast, or at least thats what everyones saying.

But I feel really good. In fact, I’ve never felt better than I do now. I’m back on my vitamins, I got my steam cooker working today so I had steamed veggies, and, my George Foreman grill helped me have some great, juicy chicken. Lunch today was great!

So, the question of the day is where do I go from here. I’m just working each day, but I mean I’m tired of being the perpetual bachelor. Somethings got to change soon, because this really sucks. 

Oh well, as Mark Twain once wrote: “Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes–none knows whence–and cannot explain itself.” - Eve’s Diary by Mark Twain

And ultimately, that is exactly what I have to remember. But either way I’m feeling happy and carefree, and, regardless of what happens, I’m just going to enjoy each day.

Now, to go finish work and then start cleaning my cave.

Well, I got to go and spend today at the Renaissance Fair today! I went with my good friend Aliya and another person from work I never met before until today. It was nice being able to get out and walk around after being cooped up in this apartment for over a week. We walked around the whole place, enjoyed some entertainment, and visited some shops. It was nice being able to visit with Aliya, as I haven’t been able to do that for a long, long time. It was also a great pleasure to meet someone new and get to know her. She’s a very nice person and I’m looking forward to getting to talk to her more.

Well, I’m out for tonight. I’m exhausted!

So I got my tax refund back this week and I decided that I would do two things: Hold on to a good chunk until I can afford to get a cat, and get a few things for me. I haven’t done that in a long time. So, spending less than $600 I got a great Compaq notebook and a 2 GB MP3 player at Best Buy, along with Fallout 3 (yes, I will be gaming once my homework is done).

This notebook is actually really good. I’m still trying to get used to Windows Vista, but, all in all I’m not having too many problems. In fact, I would venture to say that most people saying Vista Sucks are probably a little jaded. So far, so good. Even with UAC turned on.

My MP3 player also is an FM Radio, so while I’m getting my desktop back up to snuff, it’s been great to just sit here and listen to the radio without any hastle. Great sound too for only around $40.

And then, there’s Fallout 3. Which is patiently waiting in its wrapper for me to finish my homework. But, I thought I’d jump on line and BS for a moment. Still getting over this pneumonia and bronchitis. I’m tired of being sick, I tell ya!

Well, back to homework!

Pneumonia. Or, at least the onset. Doctor at the Urgent Care Clinic caught it with a series of chest x-rays. No fever, which is somewhat odd for Pneumonia, but it is the beginning stages and not fully developed. Sleeping though has become nothing more than a faint memory. All night I attempt to sleep, only to wake up in coughing and spitting fits just as I drift off. The coughing fits are so hard sometimes that I damn near pass out. Doc put me on a series of antibiotics to try and catch the Pneumonia in its early stages. I just hope it works. This always feeling like there is something in my lung and something in my throat is beginning to get annoying. Its becoming a real bitch, you know? I find myself having to swallow, only it doesn’t work like it should. It always seems to do this, just as I decide it is time to get healthy, I get sick. Real bummer.

• Alright, this is getting old. The continuation of my hack and cough spree. Damn microscopic organisms! *Shakes fist* #

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So this chest cold, or what I believe to be a chest cold, is some what becoming a mystery. It started right about the time that I started adding Fish/Flax/Borage oil to my barrage of vitamins, so I’m thinking “maybe it’s an allergy”. Maybe it is an allergy to pollen in the air. Maybe it is some nasty virus I just got to let do it’s thing. So this after noon, I started really thinking about it.

No sinus congestion, no constant sneazing… not really indicative of a common cold or pollen allergy right?

Post nasal drip, inflamed tonsils, and a cough. Okay, could be anything.

So I’m trying the Benedril route to begin with. As well as ditching all supplements except my multivitamin and Vitamin C and E pills. I have been taking those long enough I know there isn’t a problem there. If the benedril doesn’t take care of it by the end of tomorrow, I’m going to go back to thinking its a cold.

*Shakes fist at FSM* JACKASS!